Dear Friend of the Bride-To-Be,
You're friend is getting married! Maybe you've known each other since your days in pigtails or perhaps she's a recent kindred spirit that you love to pieces, either way, this is such a special time and you want to make the most of it. After all, people -usually- only become engaged once!
Speaking from experience on both sides of the relationship (being the friend and being the bride), here's a few insider tips that I wanted to share with you, feel free to take them all with a grain of salt. You know your friend better than I do, so apply -or don't apply- these thoughts as only you know best.
[ Celebrate with her and him ]
The weeks following the proposal are literally going to fly by (especially if it's a short engagement); everyone is excited and anxious to start the planning so they can finally
get married! It's so easy to immerse into The Great Flurry of wedding planning without really relishing in the fact that they're
engaged. Gently offer to throw them a party, just a small one with intimate friends and family, a time of encouragement/prayer, and mimosas (you'll never regret them, like this
peach thyme one, just saying). Whether they have another larger party or if this is the only one, they'll appreciate the memories and time spent just celebrating.
[ She has a lot on her plate, mind, and heart ]
Your dear friend is on the brink of a life that is about to radically change and that realization can be a slow process! The man who has won her heart, has bent the knee and asked to have and to hold for as long as they both shall live; it's something she's hoped and prayed for and that time is now upon her. Depending on how things will change for her, a plethora of thoughts will be going though her mind on a regular basis, pray for her
and let her know that you're praying for her. She'll probably feel life she's drinking life from a firehose, will be horribly overwhelmed, and/or be unreasonably emotional from time to time (it's totally normal, she has just had her world rocked and is a girl), understand that this is all a part of God's Great Work in her and sometimes she'll have to wrestle alone. Don't fear "just" listening and praying.
[ Offer your help in intentional ways ]
It's one thing to say, "I want to help with your wedding!" and it's something entirely different to sit her down and ask her, "What are some of the biggest stresses you have right now? I'd love to help and these are the ways that I can be available." She loves you and really wants you to be involved in such a special time of her life, but she'll also not want to ask too much or be a burden (like I stated earlier, she has
A LOT on her mind and might not be thinking clearly when it comes to asking for help). Phrases like, "Don't stress out" or "Just relax", may not be phrases that she can hear and comprehend right now (even though she probably does just need to take a break!); instead, constructively help her to schedule out her time and break down what it is that needs to be done. Oftentimes, she'll come to see what everyone else has been telling her,
the point of the wedding is to glorify God and get married;
if, at the end of the day, those two things are done,
the wedding is a beautiful success.
It really is.
[ Encourage her, love her ]
You two have been through thick and thin together, you know what would speak to her frazzled, busy soul. Here's another opportunity to send her encouraging notes for the hard days, for the long days, and for the days when nothing seems to go right; as happy as this time truly is, it can be an emotional rollercoaster for some, and either way, there will be growing pains-- she'll absolutely appreciate your support. Whether it's an "I'm praying for you" note or a kidnapped coffee date, you'll bless her veil off by intentionally showing that you care.
Perhaps you already know this, but she'll probably be late in responding to messages, emails, or texts; lovingly remind her! Naturally she wants to stay on top of things and respond speedily, but between talking with the caterer and wedding photographer, it'll probably slip her mind to get back with you; don't be afraid to remind her. This really will help her to know that someone understands her busy life and cares enough to help her.
[ Just go over ]
Have an open afternoon? Swing by her casa! As a bride planning your own wedding, it's hard to schedule time for the not-so-popular tasks that really do need to get done (like labeling and packing wedding decor, or thinking through the wedding week schedule) and a spontaneous "Are you home? Can I stop by?" text could be just what the wedding planner ordered! Maybe there won't be anything you can do or perhaps you'll open a can of wedding teux-deux worms, either way, her soul will be fed by that simple act of love.
